Nosemonkey's EUtopia

In search of a European identity

“As swift as a deer, the size of a dog, and with the head of a monkey”

Best. Weapon. Ever. I mean, not as good/scary as “as swift as a fighter jet, the size of an elephant, and with the head of former Foreign Secretary Margaret Beckett”, obviously, but still.

Sadly, however, the spoilsports of the British army have decided to deny the rumours, proving once again that war is tedious:

“We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area.”

Even so, we need more of this kind of story out of Iraq. I got tired of things blowing up out there some time around about March 21st 2003 (“Shock and Awe”? Shocking bore, more like) – strange man-eating chimera beasts would certainly get me interested again. For a bit, at any rate.

(The honey badger, by the way (for it is a plague of these little buggers that’s currently attacking Basra), is the perfect animal to represent our nutty Jihadi friends: they’re utterly vicious, serve no useful purpose, are rather scary up close but decidedly comical from a distance, and are just a wee bit stupid.)