Nosemonkey's EUtopia

Up now, courtesy of yours truly. And as such, replicated here:

It’s all over bar the count, re-counts, legal disputes over postal votes (and bad luck to reader Michelle Gray whose postal vote got, erm… lost in the post), and that little matter of South Staffordshire, but after tonight we can all, finally, stop spouting quite so much nonsense about this bloody election. (Heh… Sorry, Jarndyce, old bean…)

First up, a plug – some of us General Election bloggers and a bunch of others from around the UK blogland have started a brand spanking new group effort, which we’re hoping will be a showcase for some of the best (loosely) political writing on the web. It is The Sharpener, and we hope to see you there.

Right, pluggage out the way, on with the roundup.

The lovely chap that is Justin “Chicken Yoghurt” McKeating has created a handy resource for those of you planning to spend your election night with us bloggers: a spiffy little guide to where all the action is, as does the last post in this very blog. Something else which should prove useful is the UK Political Blog Feeds site. Always handy, and tonight doubly so.

Perfect also has some pointers to where the action is going to be blog-wise, while qwqhlm (who also plans to liveblog) has compiled an useful list of Labour marginals to watch out for if, like us sad politics geeks, you plan to be up all night. Judging by some of the early rumours, there could be a fair few more Labour marginals after tonight – we can but hope, eh? qwqhlm’s mate Chris also has some election I-Spy, which could make for a nice drinking game…

Tonight could be interesting. This election has brought out some top-notch posts from bloggers – like this effort, Choose Labour, from the Honourable Fiend and this from Blood and Treasure – it was included in the roundup yesterday, but is so good it deserves to be included again (and is now in a new home to boot…) Even some of the candidates have come up with some quality stuff…

The near-inevitable Labour victory is also causing some “what happens next speculation” even before the polls have closed, with pondering Where next for the Right? and your roundupmonkey for tonight desperately trying to start up a campaign for electoral reform, even though some other people got there first and with a far better explanation than mine of why. Others are making worrying predictions that things most certainly CAN’T only get better, and that we could all end up royally screwed in the coming third Labour term.

Was it the anxiety election for you, as Matt Sellers reckons, or just so dull even the bombs were boring? (That last lot, a blog from the new London newspaper The London Line, will also be liveblogging, by the by)

Either way, Robin Grant of Perfect also has some advice for what us mere voters should be doing next: heading to Ivotedforyoubecause.com to register our reasoning and let those Westminster bastards know how pissed off we all are. My ballot paper, much like my fellow electionblogger Ken Owen’s, would have got a hefty essay if they asked us to justify our votes on there as well, I can tell you…

And finally, Tim Ireland of Bloggerheads and Backing Blair fame notes a last irony…

OK, that’s it. We’ll probably be doing some post-match analysis here over the next few days, so any more links and such like, keep ’em coming in for now. Technically the general election isn’t over until the delayed South Staffordshire vote takes place in a month or more, but as I type, polls close in half an hour. I hope you voted wisely, and that some of the stuff on this blog helped you make a more informed choice.

Democracy eh? It’s great, innit?

Anger and frustration really does bring out the best… – good stuff.

No injuries, but there’s been an explosion at the British Consulate in New York. Which is on Third Avenue.

This is likely aimed more at the Americans than us, but God damn, these thing are a nice boost to the war party, aren’t they?

I’m pissed off at how few people who vote today will actually see their vote achieve anything. I’m pissed off at how alienated the population has become with the political process. I’m pissed off at the fact that so many people rightly believe that their vote won’t change anything.

If you are too, sign this petition like wot I’ve just set up. I doubt it’ll achieve anything – after all, Blair happily ignored all those people who protested against the Iraq war so he can happily ignore this – but we can but try.

Here’s the text:

The 2005 UK general election campaign has demonstrated more than ever that large chunks of the population see their vote effectively going to waste. On an equal share of the popular vote, the three main parties are incapable of getting an equal share of the seats in Westminster.

Proportional Representation may not have all the answers – we may lose local representation in Westminster and fringe and single-issue parties like the BNP and UKIP may end up with seats in the House of Commons – but at least then every vote would count.

We want our votes to count. We want future elections to be fair. The UK electoral system needs reform.

Now go sign.

And as another (entirely unrelated) new project, myself, Jarndyce of The Pseudo Magazine, Justin McKeating of Chicken Yoghurt and Nick Barlow of What You Can get Away With have set up a new group blog, aiming to collect some of the very best bloggers there are.

It’s not completely finished yet and will continue to evolve as more people get involved but, nonetheless, go visit The Sharpener and let us know what you think.

I will not be voting Labour today. I did not vote Labour at the last general election.

I am officially not responsible for my government’s actions.

I have, however, done my best.

Sorry it’s not good enough.

Today’s the day – and if anything’s going to sway your vote at the last minute, it’s a bunch of bloggers with stupid names blathering on in the depths of cyberspace – so check out the last pre-poll election roundup.

I’ll be knocking up a close of poll one this evening at about 10pm, trying to collect together info about anywhere and everywhere covering the results live – messageboards, liveblogging, whatever. There’ll be a messageboard up at the election blog, I’ll be liveblogging here from c.10-10:30 (maybe earlier), and a bunch of other people will be doing bits and pieces all over the interweb. It won’t be exciting, but we’ll do our best to liven it up.

So – any info on tonight’s web-based plans, bunk an email to generalelection@gmail.com – ta.

It’s over. In an interview with Jon Snow on Channel 4 News just now, Michael Howard directly compared Tony Blair to Uncle Joe Stalin.

Most surprisingly, it wasn’t for the obvious reasons – suspension of habeas corpus, being responsible for the deaths of loads of people, trying to get complex data on everyone in the country, using threats to gain votes, maintaining a constant fear of some nebulous external ideological threat to keep the populace docile etc. etc. etc. – but for introducing targets to the NHS.

Which actually started under John Major.

And, erm… wasn’t it Lenin who came up with the Five Year Plans Howard was referring to? He needs a bit more Education, Education, Education, methinks…

This may not quite be Godwin’s Law, but it’s good enough for me. Election’s over, folks. Time to head to the pub.

(Although I will be here all night tomorrow liveblogging the thing anyway – contributions to the beer fund most welcome…)

This is both superb and spot-on. (Pretty much…)

That is all. (Hat tip Actually Existing.)

Update: This is entirely spot-on. To be read in full and pondered heartily.

Are you bored of democracy yet? Ready to succumb to the maniacal ramblings of a one-man dictatorship? Well, Tony Blair’s going to be re-elected with yet another massively unhealthy majority tomorrow if you are, Justin “Chicken Yoghurt” McKeating is here with the latest election blog roundup if you aren’t.

Actually, Blair’s going to be returned with yet another massively unhealthy majority tomorrow either way… Sorry about that…

I are currently excessively busy and knackered helping set up a new project type thing, about which I should be able to inform everyone tomorrow. In the meantime, that roundup whatsit should keep you going.

(Oh, and did anyone else see David Blunkett in the Mirror yesterday? “David Blunkett says the Liberal Democrats are bad for families” – coming from a man who got another man’s wife pregnant and then got involved in a slanging match and high-profile legal battle over the paternity of a second child? Genius…)

Quickie update: Oh, and go read this letter to Tony Blair from Yank blogger KathyF. Top stuff. And yes, you did read the name right – a female blogger… Will wonders never cease?

We’re finally into the home straight, everyone’s bored rigid, but we’ve still got a nice general election blog roundup for you.

If you happen to be American and have got all confused by this shoddy attempt at democracy in the country that pretty much invented the concept of parliament, you could do worse than check out this overview from Diderot’s Lounge:

“Imagine a election system in which the incumbent leader�s party places third, with 30% of the vote or less, but that party is returned to power with an absolute majority of seats in Parliament–and the first-place party wins barely one-eighth of the seats.

“This can happen�not in Putin�s Russia, Khamenei�s Iran, or Faure�s Togo, but in Blair�s Britain.”

Britain: it’s like Florida, but without the sunshine and oranges and alligators and stuff. There’s more from the Lounge here which is also worth a look.

Oh, and lest I forget, you really should read Manic’s handy reminder of all the lies, incomptetence and spin.

Courtesy of yours truly, up now at the General Election Blog.

Note to self: don’t write these things while half asleep, partially drunk and nursing a headache in future… Still, as I done it and stuff, I reckon reproducing it here is just about fine. Here you are then:

It’s a Bank Holiday, my head hurts from booze and Tony Blair is having to pretend that yet MORE Iraq-based leaks mean nothing. “But what of British bloggers?” I hear you cry. “What of all these weirdly-named loners, sat inside on such a lovely day, spewing forth invective and insight?”

Well, because of all this Iraq business, let’s kick off with the not really weirdly-named Phil at Actually Existing (who may or may not be a loner, I have no idea), with a fairly detailed analysis of the legality of the war, following a particularly patronising load of guff from the Guardian, while The Obscurer had a good one up a couple of days ago, and smhwpf also has a nice, lengthy take on why this Iraq thing is so damn important to some of us. (Phil’s piece slagging off everyone’s least favourite hack, erstwhile Harry’s Place blogger Johann Hari, is also worth a look).

Meanwhile, Martin Stabe has an overview of the latest leaks – as well as an amusing bit on just how damn stupid certain people are being when it comes to revealing information about the Iraq war. The Curious Hamster provides another handy overview, but that Harry’s Place lot, Labour loyalists to the last, can’t see what all the fuss is about, and neither can Gauche. (Hint: it’s because Blair spouted bollocks, guys…) Oh, and John B of Shot by Both Sides has a nice summary of some of the patronising Labourite nonsense over that whole Ricin business which is also worth a look.

Oh, and while we’re Harry’s Place bashing (OK, while I’m Harry’s Place bashing – that’s what you get for not linking to my site for over six months – ha!), the brilliantly-named (and rather amusing) Chase Me Ladies I’m in the Cavalry has a take on that whole “the Respect party are a bunch of violent thugs” thing that was doing the rounds a couple of days ago. Dave Wheeden, meanwhile, makes the somewhat pertinent point that – erm – individuals cannot be taken as representative of a party as a whole. Let’s face it, if every member of the Labour party was like Glenda Jackson, the world would be a much nicer place…

If you’re pissed off by all this, there’s another handy look at the potential (lots) and pitfalls (not many) of anti-Labour tactical voting over at Consider Phlebas.

But, of course, tactical voting requires actual voting. Samizdata attempts to fight the apathy to analyse the decline in turnout over the years, while Left Out Liberal looks at the student vote – or lack thereof… But one student who does look interested is good old DoctorVee, who’s provided a handy roundup of election pamphlets from his constituency. I got one today from the bonkers “Vote for Yourself Rainbow Dream Ticket” bloke… Election leaflets are funny. Stephen Pollard, however, isn’t so happy about the things.

And talking of people who aren’t happy, Sinn Fein’s manifesto gets a nice going over at Slugger O’Toole, where they also seem to have found one of the more attractive candidates in these elections in the Green party’s Kelly Andrews…

Ho-hum. There’s only a few days to go and the forecasts are looking good, so Guido has started pondering what happens afterwards.

That not enough for you? Then head over to Tim Worstall’s place for his latest BritBlog Roundup. Good stuff as always.

And keep sending the links in to the usual generalelection@gmail.com address. I’m also trying to find out who else, like me, is planning to liveblog the election – so get in touch if you are. Not that I imagine it’ll be much fun, but still…

And now for a witty final remark to make myself look clever and great and stuff. Erm…

Tony Blair stinks of wee! Hahahahahahaha!

Up now, as you’ve probably already twigged. It’s me tonight, so bunk links to generalelection@gmail.com – ta!

In other news – as yet unbroken – the death of the Liberal Democrat candidate in the safe Tory seat of South Staffordshire could cause some problems. Worth keeping an eye on, that.

Now, what with it being a Bank Holiday and all, I’m off to the pub.

Up now. This weekend looks like being a lazy one, so any pointers to the usual address – generalelection@gmail.com – ta! (I’m doing it Sunday, so help that day would be particularly appreciated.)

I have now also decided that I will almost certainly liveblog the election on this very site on Thursday night – until either Blogger stops working, the missus gets pissed off with me staying up drinking, or I pass out through abject boredom.

Anyone who wants to keep me going through the patented Nosemonkey fuel of bottle conditioned ales, cold lager and coffee, you may have noticed a paypal donate thing up to the left somewhere. I’ve no idea how it works, but if you can figure it out, any contributions to the election night booze fund would be appreciated…

It’s where you’d by now expect it to be, courtesy of the affable Jarndyce – whose pseudonym, combined with all the recent Iraq war legal advice nonsense, prompted a vague recollection of a pertinent passage from the book from which it comes:

“The scarecrow of a suit has, in course of time, become so complicated, that no man alive knows what it means. The parties to it understand it least; but it has been observed that no two Chancery lawyers can talk about it for five minutes, without coming to a total disagreement as to all the premises.”

(Bleak House, chapter 1)

Our man Jarndyce has his own take on it as well. (I, meanwhile, really should get around to reading Bleak House properly at some point – it’s one of those ones I started years ago but never finished due to all the usual distractions…)

Meanwhile, over at Perfect there is an extensive, multiple-viewpoint dissection of last night’s Quetion Time with the three main party leaders. It was apparently rather dull. I wouldn’t know, because I was watching Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (which is great fun, and entirely in the spirit of the radio series/books/TV series) and then getting pissed.

Update: Just to prove my punditry credentials, I took that new Chris Lightfoot estimation quiz linked in the blog roundup. After answering all 35 questions, my results:

Your score is…
+62.0
That means that you’re…
* better informed than 87% of people who’ve already taken the quiz
* better informed than 92% of Labour supporters who’ve already taken the quiz
* better informed than 75% of Conservative supporters who’ve already taken the quiz
* better informed than 86% of Liberal Democrat supporters who’ve already taken the quiz

You know what that means? It means I’m not an utter spod, but kind of know my stuff. Hurrah!