A passport, a “voluntary document”? Bollocks, mate. I’m renewing mine now – that’ll last for ten years. In ten years time I’m quite likely to be living abroad and raising a family. I suppose when it’s up for renewal I could always get a divorce, leave the wife, kids, dog and job and come back to the UK to start over anew, couldn’t I? Or perhaps I could simply take citizenship with a more civilised country where they know how to treat their people with respect – which is becoming an increasingly attractive option.

Well done, Labour – you’ve overturned a lifetime of traditional, patriotic upbringing (in a family descended from one of the heroes of the British Empire) and made me start to despise my country. Good job.