Nosemonkey's EUtopia

In search of a European identity

Charles Clarke – I hate you

Charles Clarke – I hate you and everything you stand for.

A passport, a “voluntary document”? Bollocks, mate. I’m renewing mine now – that’ll last for ten years. In ten years time I’m quite likely to be living abroad and raising a family. I suppose when it’s up for renewal I could always get a divorce, leave the wife, kids, dog and job and come back to the UK to start over anew, couldn’t I? Or perhaps I could simply take citizenship with a more civilised country where they know how to treat their people with respect – which is becoming an increasingly attractive option.

Well done, Labour – you’ve overturned a lifetime of traditional, patriotic upbringing (in a family descended from one of the heroes of the British Empire) and made me start to despise my country. Good job.


  1. Do you ever wonder if perhaps you take life too seriously?

  2. Do you ever wonder if you can fuck yourself? Because I reckon you can.

  3. I've noticed you're always complaining about something. Try to look on the bright side; you've still got your computer, for example. It's not all bad.

  4. Oh, and to explain to other visitors who may think the above reaction a tad harsh – Mr. Jackson is a rather unfunny and tedious troll who has been roaming the British blogosphere over the last week or two, boring the life out of everyone with his usually off-topic, constantly uninteresting ramblings.

    His persona is that of a double murderer in a prison in the south of England – a not particularly witty double murderer, by the looks of things – even though his IP address locates him/her in Tel Aviv. Quite where his/her actual location is, and quite what his/her real world identity is I neither know nor care. He/she is, however, beginning to bore me.

  5. And to strangely excite you, you might add…

  6. Out of interest, would that be Clive of India you're talking about? Descent that is, not earl jackson being a cockmonkey.

  7. Go on, nosemonkey, you've intrigued us all now; tell us about your noble heritage.

  8. Cedalion – that's the chap. Actually decended from his sister, I believe. Or so the older relatives claim, at any rate…

    Earl – yes. That's right. Well done. Have a sweetie.

  9. We have a year to start the revolution before Clarke invokes the Parliament Act…

  10. Dear God, man – have you nothing better to do than constantly check my blog to see if you've got a rise? Look at your wonderful productivity in the last half hour: (Ig Adsl Costumers (tony08))

    Tel Aviv, Tel Aviv, Israel

    Date Time WebPage
    14th March 2006 12:15:32 PM
    14th March 2006 12:24:17 PM
    14th March 2006 12:24:29 PM
    14th March 2006 12:25:26 PM
    14th March 2006 12:27:27 PM
    14th March 2006 12:27:37 PM
    14th March 2006 12:28:36 PM
    14th March 2006 12:28:48 PM
    14th March 2006 12:28:57 PM
    14th March 2006 12:33:30 PM
    14th March 2006 12:33:40 PM
    14th March 2006 12:33:54 PM
    14th March 2006 12:34:06 PM
    14th March 2006 12:34:25 PM
    14th March 2006 12:38:32 PM
    14th March 2006 12:38:37 PM
    14th March 2006 12:39:10 PM
    No referring link
    14th March 2006 12:39:45 PM
    14th March 2006 12:42:22 PM
    No referring link
    14th March 2006 12:42:35 PM
    No referring link
    14th March 2006 12:44:53 PM
    No referring link
    14th March 2006 12:45:09 PM
    No referring link
    14th March 2006 12:47:03 PM
    No referring link
    14th March 2006 12:47:41 PM
    No referring link
    14th March 2006 12:49:03 PM
    No referring link
    14th March 2006 12:49:20 PM
    No referring link
    14th March 2006 12:50:01 PM
    14th March 2006 12:50:23 PM
    14th March 2006 12:51:11 PM
    14th March 2006 12:52:06 PM
    14th March 2006 12:52:45 PM

  11. Mmmm…very interesting. Your point being?

  12. Merely that you must have a rather pathetic life if this is the best you can come up with as a way to idle away the hours. Go and have a wank or something – far more fun.

  13. Meanwhile, you're doing what?

  14. I renewed my passport last year – got an extra 9 months added to its term because I was renewing early.

    So, as far as passport renewal is concerned, I'm okay until 2016. By which time one of three things will have happened.

    The legislation will fail to materialise.

    It will have passed through parliament but collapsed under its own weight.

    I will be living abroad – the most likely scenario.

    BTW – is this the same Troll that Justin was complaining about?

  15. Getting increasingly bored of you during temporary lulls in work, while trying to decide whether to follow the example of numerous other bloggers and simply start deleting your tedious contributions every time they appear.

  16. Longrider – I believe so, yes. Pointless, isn't he?

  17. …simply start deleting your tedious contributions every time they appear.

    That's what I'd do. Wordpress has an IP auto moderate facility, so the comments will never appear.

  18. Voluntary document?
    It used to be – sort of. Time was when a passport was not needed for a UK citizen to enter or leave the country, just some proof of residence. Didn't help the other side off the Channel, of course.

    Also, A.P.Herbert in one of his splendid Haddock vs Government Stupidity tales added some interesting footnotes. The wording in the back of the passport gradually changed from "This is a valuable document…" to include such phrases as "…and may be withdrawn at the discretion of…." without legislation being passed to back it up. No doubt that has now been rectified; it'd be interesting to find out.

    Shipping out to foreign parts might work; apparently UK passports renewed in Consulates abroad will not have the automatic requirement of I.D. card registration.

  19. Passport voluntary? Yeah right.

    Last I heard the UK hadn't even joined Schengen, so you can't even travel to the immediate neighbours without a passport.

    Then the US, don't they now require a biometric passport (or whatever that thing was called)?

    Now you could argue that you don't have to travel there. So far so good.

    But try to explain that to your employer, in particular if you work for any international company. At least occasional international travel is pretty much expected there, I doubt you'll get a job with them if you refuse to travel.

    Suddenly a passport doesn't look so voluntary to me any more.

  20. I got a new passport last year.

    Now I can't seem to find it.


    I hear what you say about leaving the country, but I've in foreign parts several times before, with the general perception that State interference in my life was more pronounced over there (in France) than it is/was back in Blighty. And in any event, I'm buggered if I'm going to be forced out by the Jim 'king Murphy or any other NuLabour monkeys. This country is a damn sight better than what those tossrags are trying to turn it into, and it will survive this authoritarianism (don't mean to come across as a Little Englander Tory there, BTW – I'm anything but that).