Looks like our old mate Osama bin Laden has opted for telling the truth: America’s screwed no matter who the next president is, and Dick Cheney is a liar for suggesting otherwise. (OK, so that last bit was me, not Osama, but still…)
Yep, the West’s favourite bogeyman has come out of hiding in a classic October surprise, alongside the massive buildup of US forces outside Fallujah in Iraq (made possible by Tony Blair’s love of George) ready for an all-out attack which’ll probably hit the news on Tuesday morning.
By telling the US (and the world) that “Your security is not in the hands of Kerry or Bush or al Qaeda. Your security is in your own hands,” old Osama (may he burn in hell) is basically saying that he’s going to carry on no matter what the outcome of the election. Which we all knew anyway.
Al Qaeda’s boss-man has some damn good lines: “We had no difficulty in dealing with Bush and his administration because they resemble the regimes in our countries, half of which are ruled by the military and the other half by the sons of kings… They have a lot of pride, arrogance, greed and thievery… It never occurred to us that the commander in chief of the American forces would leave 50,000 citizens in the two towers to face those horrors alone at a time when they most needed him because he thought listening to a child discussing her goat and its ramming was more important than the planes and their ramming of the skyscrapers.”
I mean, OUCH… Seems like al Qaeda’s been reading some of the more excitable anti-Bush blogs – the rhetoric is almost identical to some of the more over-the-top criticisms of the president. Plus the reminder that bin Laden is still on the loose couldn’t come at a better time for the Kerry campaign. Which probably means that the Republicans will spin this as meaning the Democrats are terrorists, which is what they’ve already effectively stated by starting to attack the Daily Kos…
As bin Laden says, “arrogance, greed and thievery” – it’s the perfect epitaph for the Bush regime. The only trouble is, it’s almost certainly going to be weeks before we know for sure that we’ve seen the back of them. And even then, he’ll probably only give it another shot in 2008… Is there any hope?
DISCLAIMER: Nosemonkey would just like to assure any readers who deliberately miss the point of this post (if there is one) that he in no way endorses Osama bin Laden, al Qaeda or terrorism in any way, shape or form. This is largely due to him despising violence (well, except in computer games) and having this naive belief that – just perhaps – the world would be a nicer place if we all just sat around and had a chat over a pint in the pub rather than constantly trying to blow the shit out of each other.