Nosemonkey's EUtopia

In search of a European identity

June 6, 2007
by Nosemonkey
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Johnson and Addison on blogging

In lieu of inspiration I’ve been reading a few precursors to bloggers to try and get the creative juices flowing.

As such, pertinent find from Dr Johnson’s Rambler (No.3, June 5th 1750):

It is… quickly discoverable, that consultation and compliance can conduce little to the perfection of any literary performance; for whoever is so doubtful of his own abilities as to encourage the remarks of others, will find himself every day embarrassed with new difficulties, and will harass his mind, in vain, with the hopeless labour of uniting heterogeneous ideas, digesting independent hints, and collecting into one point the several rays of borrowed light, emitted often with contrary directions.

Of all authors, those who retail their labours in periodical sheets would be most unhappy, if they were much to regard the censures or admonitions of their readers : for… it is always imagined, by those who think themselves qualified to give instructions, that they may yet redeem their former failings by hearkening to better judges, and supply the deficiencies of their plan, by the help of the criticisms which are so liberally afforded…

Of the great force of preconceived opinions I had many proofs, when I first entered upon this weekly labour. My readers having, from the performances of my predecessors, established an idea of unconnected essays, to which they believed all future authors under a necessity of conforming, were impatient of the least deviation from their system, and numerous remonstrances were accordingly made by each, as he found his favourite subject omitted or delayed. Some were angry that the Rambler did not, like the Spectator, introduce himself to the acquaintance of the publick, by an account of his own birth and studies, an enumeration of his adventures, and a description of his physiognomy. Others soon began to remark that he was a solemn, serious, dictatorial writer, without sprightliness or gaiety, and called out with vehemence for mirth and humour. Another admonished him to have a special eye upon the various clubs of this great city, and informed him that much of the Spectator’s vivacity was laid out upon such assemblies. He has been censured for not imitating the politeness of his predecessors, having hitherto neglected to take the ladies under his protection, and give them rules for the just opposition of colours, and the proper dimensions of ruffles and pinners. He has been required by one to fix a particular censure upon those matrons who play at cards with spectacles: and another is very much offended whenever he meets with a speculation in which naked precepts are comprised without the illustration of examples and characters.

I make not the least question that all these monitors intend the promotion of my design, and the instruction of my readers; but they do not know, or do not reflect, that an author has a rule of choice peculiar to himself; and selects those subjects which he is best qualified to treat, by the course of his studies, or the accidents of his life; that some topicks of amusement have been already treated with too much success to invite a competition; and that he who endeavours to gain many readers must try; various arts of invitation, essay every avenue of pleasure, and make frequent changes in his methods of approach.

I cannot but consider myself, amidst this tumult of criticism, as a ship in a poetical tempest, impelled at the same time by opposite winds, and dashed by the waves from every quarter, but held upright by the contrariety of the assailants, and secured in some measure by multiplicity of distress. Had the opinion of my censurers been unanimous, it might perhaps have overset my resolution; but since I find them at variance with each other, I can, without scruple, neglect them, and endeavour to gain the favour of the publick by following the direction of my own reason, and indulging the sallies of my own imagination.

Much of familiarity there to any blogger – especially to those, like me, who try to avoid petty partisanship – shot by both sides, as the title of a much-missed old blog would have it, a blog destroyed through the petty vindictiveness of a reader who utterly misunderstood the point.

Writing about the EU, the point is almost always misunderstood – the preconception is that to write about the European Union you must either be a europhile or a eurosceptic, whereas I am neither. Add to that the fact that the whole thing is so vast and complex (especially when you chuck in the internal and international politics of all 27 member states) that I doubt if any one person can fully understand and be aware of all its workings, so we’re also all discussing it from a position of greater or lesser ignorance. (This being one of the principle current concerns that has led to my current semi-hiatus…)

And then, to one of the undisputed masters, Joseph Addison in The Spectator (No.476, 5th September 1712) – whose advice on writing with “Method” I should probably heed in future, being of the tendency of rattling off the first thing that comes into my head, and hoping an argument and structure will form as I write…:

Among my Daily-Papers which I bestow on the Publick, there are some which are written with Regularity and Method, and others that run out into the Wildness of those Compositions which go by the Names of Essays. As for the first, I have the whole Scheme of the Discourse in my Mind before I set Pen to Paper. In the other kind of Writing, it is sufficient that I have several Thoughts on a Subject, without troubling my self to range them in such order, that they may seem to grow out of one another, and be disposed under the proper Heads. Seneca and Montaigne are Patterns for Writing in this last kind, as Tully and Aristotle excel in the other. When I read an Author of Genius who writes without Method, I fancy myself in a Wood that abounds with a great many noble Objects, rising among one another in the greatest Confusion and Disorder. When I read a methodical Discourse, I am in a regular Plantation, and can place my self in its several Centres, so as to take a view of all the Lines and Walks that are struck from them. You may ramble in the one a whole Day together, and every Moment discover something or other that is new to you; but when you have done, you will have but a confused imperfect Notion of the Place: In the other, your Eye commands the whole Prospect, and gives you such an Idea of it, as is not easily worn out of the Memory.

Irregularity and want of Method are only supportable in Men of great Learning or Genius, who are often too full to be exact, and therefore chuse to throw down their Pearls in Heaps before the Reader, rather than be at the Pains of stringing them.

Addison then continues with a perfect description of the two principle kinds of blogger:

Tom Puzzle is one of the most Eminent Immethodical Disputants of any that has fallen under my Observation. Tom has read enough to make him very Impertinent; his Knowledge is sufficient to raise Doubts, but not to clear them. It is pity that he has so much Learning, or that he has not a great deal more. With these Qualifications Tom sets up for a Free-thinker, finds a great many things to blame in the Constitution of his Country… He has got about half a dozen common-place Topicks, into which he never fails to turn the Conversation, whatever was the Occasion of it… This makes Mr. Puzzle the Admiration of all those who have less Sense than himself, and the Contempt of those who have more. There is none in Town whom Tom dreads so much as my Friend Will Dry. Will, who is acquainted with Tom‘s Logick, when he finds him running off the Question, cuts him short with a What then? We allow all this to be true, but what is it to our present Purpose? I have known Tom eloquent half an hour together, and triumphing, as he thought, in the Superiority of the Argument, when he has been non-plus’d on a sudden by Mr. Dry‘s deSir ing him to tell the Company what it was that he endeavoured to prove. In short, Dry is a Man of a clear methodical Head, but few Words, and gains the same Advantage over Puzzle, that a small Body of regular Troops would gain over a numberless undisciplined Militia.

The fact that Tom Puzzles vastly outnumber Will Drys in blogland is another cause for depression…

June 4, 2007
by Nosemonkey
8 Comments

My heart’s not really in it

Can’t you tell from all the linklog posts?

I’m not going to do one of those “on hiatus” things, but I am thoroughly bored with current affairs at the moment – be it Putin threatening Europe with missiles (entirely sensible, considering that’s effectively what we’re all threatening to do to Russia with the US missile defence shield), Gordon Brown showing once again he’s little different to Blair with his plans for new terrorism laws, the upcoming G8 summit, anything.

As for more vague, theoretical ramblings – all speculation on the future of the EU is currently futile, and will be until Gordon Brown finally gets off his fat arse and says something meaningful about what his plans are there (the single most pressing concern for when he takes over as Prime Minister, no matter what he may think, as everyone else is hoping to finalise plans in July), as the UK is currently preventing any progress on EU reform whatsoever. There’s not even any point in talking about Cameron‘s EU plans, because not only is his European policy barely formed (if vaguely promising-sounding), but it could alter at a moment’s whim as soon as the party faithful tick him off.

Working out Sarkozy‘s precise plans is likewise tricky as hell – reams of copy have been written on Sarkozy and Europe since he became president, but it’s all been contradictory – just like his appointment of a pro-Turkey Foreign Minister when he’s personally against Turkish entry. Until the spotlight of the European press goes off him a bit, it’s going to be hard to see what his plans will be – though France certainly looks to be the most politically interesting EU country at the moment, that’s for sure.

The increasing tensions with Russia towards Europe’s eastern fringes I’ve yet again not quite managed to work out. There are Russian parliamentary elections coming up later this year, with presidential elections in early 2008, but it seems a bit early for Putin to be going belligerent to shore up patriotic, pro-government support. And the current unpredictability of Russia and Putin again makes any speculation about the EU’s future utterly futile, as the stability (or otherwise) of Russian gas supplies is increasingly looking to be the single most important factor in Europe’s future progress.

Meanwhile, as this place has a European focus, writing about the run-up to the US presidential primaries seems pointless – not least because my basic take on all the leading candidates (bar, possibly, Mitt Romney) is “who cares, at least he/she’s not Bush” (though if you could get an Obama/McCain team-up unity ticket I’d be a happy man).

Likewise, I’m not going to go back to covering terrorism (no matter how popular that may once have made this site), because it bores the hell out of me – as does the middle east (though you may well get a lengthy piece on Suez at some point later today, written a fair while ago, prompted by my annoyance at Andrew Marr’s oversimplification of the crisis in his otherwise entertaining “Modern History of Britain” programme, done in a studenty attempt to hint at barely existent modern parallels). The only reason I care about Iraq is that I have a few friends in the army who occasionally get sent out there, and the only reason I care about Afghanistan is that another mate of mine’s been out in Kabul for the last nine months, advising on some kind of top-secret governmental gubbins.

Plus, of course, I know tit all about Iraq or Afghanistan or military tactics – and when you don’t know the subject, it’s best to shut up lest you look an idiot. (Bloggers worldwide, heed these words and stop spewing out meaningless, idiotic, repetitive and consistently partisan drivel.)

As such, until I find something to genuinely interest me again, I may be a bit quiet. That interest may well turn out to be French politics, it may be minority rights in eastern Europe, it may be Turkish reform and EU entry, it may be Russia’s foreign policy. But I’m not prepared to rattle off half-hearted nonsense on subjects about which I know very little – and currently I have too much real-world work to do enough background reading to keep me up to speed (even if a lot of it is utterly trivial nonsense like this, this or this).

In other words, it’s time to follow the old maxim if you haven’t got anything worth saying, it’s best to say nothing at all. (And just think how few blogs there would be if all of us bloggers heeded that advice… The internet’d be a quarter of the size…)

Back properly at some point, possibly soon.

May 31, 2007
by Nosemonkey
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May 30, 2007
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May 29, 2007
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May 26, 2007
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May 25, 2007
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May 24, 2007
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May 23, 2007
by Nosemonkey
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The UK’s current EU policy: nonexistent

A revealing interview with Geoff Hoon in Le Figaro (in English) has confirmed something I’ve suspected for quite a while now – the UK simply does not have an EU policy.

Hoon, following his poor showing with the Defence portfolio was demoted to Leader of the House, which he also messed up, leading to further demotion to Europe Minister. On the surface, Hoon’s appointment could have been seen as a sensible move – he did, after all, spend almost a decade as an MEP, so should know what he’s talking about. But this is Geoff Hoon we’re talking about. In his year in the post, what contributions has he made to the EU debate that’s been raging in other member states? Let’s see…

On December 6th 2006, Hoon asserted that “The Government have a very clear policy on the European constitution,” and that policy was set out in a Written Ministerial Statement of 5th December 2006. The key points?

1) Pursuing British interests
2) Modernisation and effectiveness
3) Consensus
4) Subsidiarity (working at the right level)
5) Use of existing Treaties
6) Openness

How well has this been done? Well, considering that no changes to the EU can occur without consensus, point 3 strikes ma as the most important. How well has the UK done in building a consensus of opinion in the EU in the months since Hoon outlined the (decidedly vague and management jargon-heavy) British approach?

20th February 2007, Geoff Hoon: “There is no consensus among member states at this stage”
20th March 2007, Geoff Hoon: “At present there is no consensus among EU Governments”
1st May 2007, Geoff Hoon: “There is at present no consensus among EU partners on the way forward”

Oh dear.

But go back to the interview with Hoon in Le Figaro, and little wonder Britain’s not managed to get consensus. For one thing, it’s pretty clear that our Europe Minister – and therefore our government as a whole – is concerned less with what actually happens in terms of EU reform, but in how it appears, as with an EU foreign minister:

“We are worried because the title ‘minister’ would inevitably have a state connotation. But the aim is not to create a European state. This title will have to be reconsidered”

And again, “These are politically sensitive issues”, and the classic “We will have to discuss the details” followed swiftly by “I do not want to go into details”…

Meanwhile, has Hoon actually pressed ahead with any major meetings? Well, no. The big EU meetings, face-to-face with heads of state and the like, have been handled by Tony Blair (when he can be bothered, or if he’s been invited…). The regular policy discussions are handled at the monthly meetings of EU Foreign ministers, which Hoon’s boss Foreign Secretary Margaret Beckett attends.

So, has Margaret Beckett got anywhere?

1st May 2007, Margaret Beckett: “At present, there remains no consensus among EU partners”

Oh dear… And as her opposite number William Hague noted when Mrs Beckett reported back from the European Council in December, “The Foreign Secretary… failed to mention one thing—the European constitution.”

This prompted a long and rambling response from Mrs Beckett that ended quite simply and revealingly with, “we will see what proposals are put forward”.

Yep, it’s John Major’s “wait and see” all over again. Which has, it would appear, been the British government’s policy towards the EU for at least two years now. As Hoon’s statements in that interview with Le Figaro make clear, no one in the British government is willing to go on record saying anything other than the most vague nonsense about the next steps for the EU.

Do we support a multi-speed Europe, as proposed again yesterday by Romano Prodi (and as Nicholas Sarkozy seems to be vaguely pushing for with his “Mediterranean Union” idea)? It seems an obvious position for Britain to adopt, after all – avoid all the nasty ramifications of the constitution, get fresh opt-outs in economic and judicial policies, and don’t hamper our partners at the same time.

If we don’t support different tiers of EU participation, are we simply looking to pick a fight with our neighbours by putting the brakes on their plans for further integration? Does Gordon Brown henchman Ed Balls’ talk of a “hard-headed pro-Europeanism” indicate a new way forward, or is it simply (as I strongly suspect) the same old prevarication dressed up in fancy new language? Does anyone in government even know what Britain’s EU policy is any more?

And the next UK Prime Minister’s attitude towards the EU? It’s anyone’s guess, as he has yet to make his position even slightly clear. All we do know is that it’s not on his list of priorities – which hardly bodes well for the future of EU reform.

As one of the largest and most economically powerful countries in the EU, the UK should be at the forefront of discussions – not just to have her say, but also because no other EU countries can possibly reach the “consensus” that is Britain’s declared aim without knowing the position of one of the big three. Yet throughout the German presidency Britain has shirked her European responsibilities, just as she did when the UK herself held the EU presidency. Once again, the UK is holding the EU back – more subtly and less confrontationally than Poland, perhaps, but just as effectively.

If the EU is ever going to get a consensus on the future of the EU, the core problem has to be tackled – and that problem is not nor ever has been the precise nature of the much-needed institutional reforms, it’s the ambiguous attitude and apathetic reluctance of the United Kingdom whenever the European Union is mentioned. It’s almost as if the British government has its fingers in its ears, humming to itself, pretending that the EU doesn’t exist and that maybe if they ignore it long enough it’ll just go away. Well, surprise surprise – it won’t. Consensus doesn’t come without discussion, the one thing the British government seems to hate above all else.

Will Gordon Brown change anything when he becomes Prime Minister? Well, just like the government when it comes to the EU, we’ll have to wait and see. But I doubt it very much indeed.

Update: More on this from the Telegraph

May 23, 2007
by Nosemonkey
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May 22, 2007
by Nosemonkey
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May 21, 2007
by Nosemonkey
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The Cutty Sark

First dibs on breaking the arms, legs and face of the bastard who set the old girl on fire, if it does turn out to be arson. (On which note, I’d also happily break this Wikipedia user‘s face for their “hilarious” prank of deleting the Cutty Sark’s entry this morning at five to eight…)

Cutty Sark

A truly beautiful ship, and one to which photographs really can’t do justice – certainly not in the Greenwich dry dock she’s occupied for the last God knows how many years, because she was just too large and sleekly streamlined to take in from the cramped surroundings by the Royal Naval College. A ship like that should never have been trapped in a dry dock anyway, traipsed over day-in, day-out by bored schoolkids and American tourists going “Gee!” – she should have been free to roam the oceans once again, zipping over the waves to grab costly natural resources from subjugated native tribes, before pacing it back to London for a hefty profit. She may have been built a bit too late to really qualify as part of the golden age of sail – she was launched 32 years after Brunel’s SS Great Western had proved the viability of steam, and heralded the dawn of the modern shipping age – but that was all part of her charm.

Keep an eye on the website – doubtless they’ll need some more funds fairly soon, and thanks to the sodding Olympics nicking all the lottery cash, there won’t be any left for this sort of thing. (A big rant about Gordon Brown’s complicity in the Department for Culture, Media and Sport’s seemingly systematic destruction of the heritage sector during the utterly anti-historical Blair years, despite all Brown’s protestations of love for Britain and Britishness, etc., may well follow nearer to his coronation…)

May 20, 2007
by Nosemonkey
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