So then, nutty eurosceptic types who blamed the so-called Metric Martyrs‘ persecution on the EU (rather than, erm… a combination of a pre-EEC British decision to simplify measurements and their own obstinacy in not maintaining legal scales) – what’s the response to this one?

A restaurant owner has described laws which ban him from serving beer by the litre as “barmy” after he was threatened with court action…

Mr Davison, who owns the Kuchnia Polska restaurant in Doncaster, was told to change his glasses within 28 days or face a court hearing and a £2,000 fine.

The 1988 Weights and Measures Act says draught beer must be sold in pints.”

Curse that meddling EU, forcing us to serve beer in pints! Curse it! Even though it had nothing to do with the 1988 Weights and Measures Act! And even though it’s quite happy – unlike the British government – to have two systems of measurement continue to work in tandem!

(Don’t think eurosceptics are silly enough to blame the EU for something with which it has had nothing to do? Check the comments to the barkingly anti-EU Daily Mail’s version of this story… “Another barmy idea from the EU Police”, says one, “too many E.U. laws are coming our way”, says another, and then the classic Ted Heath moment: “Let this country go right back to using Imperal measures and sod the european union farce. Most of the BRITISH inhabitants did not want the metric system or decimalisation in the first place. Thank you for nothing, TED HEATH FOR taking the country into the eu!” – I love Mail readers, they’re just so predictable…)

The Metric Martyrs are supporting Mr Davison in his new campaign. It couldn’t have anything to do with his views on the EU, which they consistently misrepresented as being behind their self-inflicted plight, could it?

“I love Poland and I speak Polish,” Davison tells the Mail, “but the European Community is corrupt as hell and a waste of time.” Loves litres – “Grrr!”; employs Polish immigrants – “Double grrr!”; hates the EU – “Eh? What? Oh… He must be alright then… Let’s support the poor chap!”

(Now all we need is for someone to be prosecuted for selling beer in litres in a bar that only accepts euros and employs only gypsies, but who has Ted Heath’s face on the EU flag dartboard and is a fully-paid up member of UKIP, advocating total and immediate withdrawal from the Union. Then their heads will explode in a glorious Bonfire Night of brainsplattering fireworks, and I can pop open a nice jeroboam of champagne, which I shall insist on calling a 4.5 litre bottle, just to ensure that I cause the headrupture of the last of them…)