- Radical new health initiative launched! Known as “going to the doctor for a check-up every now and then”, the government have made the shock discovery that serious illnesses are – incredibly – MORE likely to be discovered quickly by a qualified healthcare professional than by an average member of the Public merely sitting on their obese backsides, watching Hollyoaks and chainsmoking.
This comes hot on the back of the amazing new crime-fighting revolution of “community calls to action”, or “phoning the police”.
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