Well, 2005’s off to a good start. Loads of people dead via a natural disaster, ongoing violence in the Middle East and Africa and so on and so on. Now, to top it all, a load of past-it and D-list “pop stars” (including Tony Blair’s favourite God-botherer Cliff Richard, the putridly bland non-talent that is Jamie “mutilating the classics” Cullum and Olivia “I was famous for a bit about 25 years ago, honest” Newton-John) are going to be releasing a single to raise money for tsunami victims.

But hey, every little helps, right? And who am I to point out (as, doubtless, many have already) that the United States’ $350 million pledge (as with the two World Wars, better late than never guys…) is but a tiny fraction of the vast amount of money that has been pumped into Iraq? Who am I to suggest that the cost of the vital reconstruction work in the areas affected by the tsunami has been estimated at less than half what the US has set aside to pay (largely) American companies to get Iraq up and running again?

It’s the hypocracy of the thing. Like the way the British government pledges �50 million and we’re supposed to think “wow, how generous!” when this money is for saving lives. The same government has quite happily wasted BILLIONS of pounds taking lives in Iraq over the last couple of years.

All this bollocks that’s been spouted about the world coming together, holding two minutes’ silence before the fireworks at midnight and the like, is typical of the self-congratulatory attitude of us holier-than-thou Westerners. Look – we care, alright? We held off boozing for a couple of minutes and bunked you some small change! Now shut up and die quietly because that’s all you’re getting, and you should be bloody grateful.

Happy New Sodding Year.