Nosemonkey's EUtopia

In search of a European identity

On flawed online political quizzes

Unlock Democracy (an offshoot of Charter 88) are normally fairly good, nicely liberal chaps with a genuine desire to help. But I take serious, serious issue with their London Mayoroal election quiz, designed to determine which candidate you should vote for based on policy alone.

I’ve tried it twice now, and both times it’s told me to vote (in this order) for the BNP, ex-UKIP and Veritas nutter Winston McKenzie, and UKIP.

To slip briefly into the vernacular – what the fuck? I mean, seriously – no sodding way, chum.

Update: the full list, in order. At least it got Ken Livingstone’s position right… (I voted for him the last two times – thanks to a combination of liking the congestion charge and to stop Shagger Norris)

Richard Barnbrook (BNP)
Winston Mckenzie
Boris Johnson (Conservatives)
Gerrard Batten (UKIP)
Lindsey German (Left List)
Matt O’Connor (English Democrats)
Siân Berry (Green Party)
Brian Paddick (Liberal Democrats)
Alan Craig (Christian Peoples Alliance / Christian Party)
Ken Livingstone (Labour)

Actual voting intention? Boris and Brian, on a stop Ken ticket.


  1. It was probably the “interracial marriage” question that did it ;-)

    Seriously though, looking at the questions and having some idea about your political views, I can’t work out how you got those results. Do you hate bendy buses, think immigration is a bigger problem than lack of housing, want the police to prosecute dope smokers, and abolish the congestion charge…?

  2. I was wondering how you got the BNP in there. Did you not read the questions properly and accidentally click agree when you meant disagreee or something?

    Anyway, Boris? You’d rather a faux buffoon serially offensive toff than the man who’s done a hella lot for public transport in the capital and who brought in the congestion charge? Johnson would be a complete fucking disaster, not just ‘cos he’s an utter twunt who’d run things badly, but because he’d destroy the congestion charge as a matter of policy. What can poosibly be good about that?

  3. John – I think it’s because the quiz thing has the BNP guy down as being very strongly for or against every issue (seeing the world in black and white – boom boom), while most of the others are only slightly for or against. So if you’re strongly for or against something the the BNP chappie agrees with a couple of times (like changing the way prepaid Oyster cards work to a timed system, for example) then you end up matched with him. Probably. (On the specific issues – I do hate bendy busses, because I used to cycle to work and the things are lethal, but all the others most definitely not.)

    Tom – First I’ve heard of Boris abolishing the congestion charge. Reform it, certainly – and it does need reform – but to abolish it would be madness, both financially and electorally. He may give a good impression of being a bumbling idiot, but he’s not.

    As for Ken, yes he’s done some good, and the congestion charge was a brilliant idea. But he’s also broken altogether too many promises too many times for my liking (mostly about public transport fare rises), and hasn’t done nearly as much about public transport as he claimed he would/could. Plus I just don’t like the guy, and don’t like Labour. (I also don’t like the Tories, but Boris strikes me as a nice chap, having met him, and I’m trying to vote at least partially positively this time.)

  4. “[Boris] may give a good impression of being a bumbling idiot, but he’s not.”

    Surely the time to stop giving people the false impression of being a bumbling idiot is at an occasion such as the “Newsnight Hustings”, but Boris carried straight along.

    I’m not a Londoner, I don’t live in London, I don’t care who’s Mayor, I like Boris Johnson and I don’t care for Ken Livingstone; but Boris’s Newsnight appearance made me really glad that he won’t get anywhere near running my city.

  5. Does anyone know how this system works as it was set up before all the parties have released their manifestos. I’m kind of with the anyone but ken out look.

    He seems to be so free and easy with spending (our) money, I’m Also concerned with his connections with some of Islam’s nasty guys who are keen on stoning etc. I’m going to vote Alan Craig as my first choice and Boris the next. I used to think fairly highly of the greens but not after their alliance with Ken!

    It doesn’t seem as a good as political compass which puts me next to Ghandi, if you’ve not seen it check it out.

  6. It’s got me down for the Trots. I never knew I was that much of a wet.

  7. Boris’ ‘plan’ for the congestion charge is to effectively make the enforcement toothless, thus causing it to be completely discredited by those of us who support it and allowing him to scrap it altogether (he obviously hasn’t been vocal about the second part, but that’s the only possible reason for doing this).
    Like I said, he’s faux-bumbling – very clever, very nasty, very very good at image manipulation.

  8. I don’t live in London anymore, but I voted for Ken when I did and would probably do so again simply to keep Boris out. That said, if there was no need to vote tactically, that ‘Vote Match’ quiz actually seems to have reflected my views quite accurately…
    1. Left List
    2. Greens
    3. Ken
    4. Lib Dems
    and then a big drop-off in support; with Boris, UKIP, the BNP and the others all scoring quite similarly right at the bottom.